Shika to Kappa
by EtherealMay
Summary: ShikamaruXOC. "I remember my pop telling me that your kind used to drown our deer at night." "No, we drown horses, not deer." "What about those times that you tried to drown Sasuke and other people? They're not horses." "Old habits die hard..." Just series of meaningless crack with a dash of romance.
1. Return to Konoha

A/N: Hi guys! I've been wanting to write a Naruto fanfic for a long time, but since the original manga seems to be getting to the end, I thought I'd save the big idea until it's done. Right now, I'll be writing this short (or maybe medium-length) novel, mostly casual and filled with pointless crack and occasional seriousness. The pairing is going to be ShikamaruXOC, but those of you looking for a story about true love, this is probably not what you're looking for.

**Shika to Kappa**

**Chapter 01**

**Return to Konoha**

"Mizuno-sama! Over here! If you don't hurry, it's going to be too late!"

"I cannot leave with you all. Take my daughter and go!"

The edge of the Konoha River was a fairly secluded area in the hidden village of Konoha. One of the reasons being that it had as bad of a reputation as the Forest of Death, but the main reason was that it seemed to be a private property owned by the Saga Clan. There were scarcely any human that stepped foot into the area, but now, a young woman in her twenties stood by the river with a baby in her arms. In front of her, a group of creatures-very human like, but definitely not human-floated in the river with half of their bodies in the river. They seemed to be scared. Like everyone else in Konoha-after a short period of peace after the Shinobi World War, Konoha was under the attack of Kyuubi.

"What are you saying? If you stay here, you will die!"

The oldest of the group of creatures, seemingly the leader, swam close to shore to speak with the young woman. The young woman was a descendent of the Saga Clan, Saga Mizuno. Her skin was pale from fear and it contrasted greatly with her Anbu uniform. However, the arms that held her baby was tight and secure.

"When I became a shinobi, I swore an oath to protect my village. Konoha is my home and its villagers are my family. Protecting the village is the same as protecting ourselves-that was what Kawatarou and I both believed in..."

Saga Mizuno's voice trembled as she handed her crying baby to the leader of the creatures, who received it great care. However, the creatures were shocked to see what was tied onto the cloth which wrapped around the baby-a blood-stained forehead protector.

"This... Kawatarou-sama is... it can't be!" the creatures gasped and cried in grievance.

"I leave my daughter to you, Dangame-san, please raise her as your own even if she is a human..." the sky of Konoha behind her was burning with a horrendous fire, and its piercing red flare darkened her face toward the creatures. However, the liquid streams on her cheeks still sparkled visibly. "But please, promise me that when she is of age, you will let her return to Konoha-her birthplace and the village that her father sacrificed his life to protect..."

"Mizuno-sama... Of course. The Saga Clan has given us protection and a safe haven for years; it is our duty to repay you with this responsibility. The kappas will always be happy to be of help to the Saga Clan."

"Thank you, Dangame-san..."

With a blink of an eye, Saga Mizuno disappeared from the creatures' sight. Dangame, the creatures' leader, motioned for the group to move in the direction outward of Konoha. As the creatures submerged into water, Dangame carefully put his scaley webbed hand above the infant's face. A bubble formed around her head and it muffled her crying. Then, Dangame gently lowered her into the river, and to his surprise, the baby girl ceased crying. Looking back one last time at village filled with screams and fire, Dangame dove into the river and swam out of Konoha's vicinities.

* * *

"That's just not right! Not right, I said!"

Just outside of the main entrance to Konoha, a young girl was throwing a fit. The gatekeepers had troubled expressions on their faces; they are unauthorized to let any outsider into Konoha without proper identifications, but it's also hard to explain that to a little girl.

"I'm sorry, child, but rules are rules..." one of the gatekeepers said kindly; he has never been good with children. It would be easy if some kind of enemy tried to break in, and he could just fight them, but the same cannot be done with a child. Especially one that is dressed in rags and carried a weird, dirty old lidded dish on her head.

"Hey... do you think she begs for money on the streets with that dish...?" the other gatekeeper whispered to his friend.

"You think so? That's just sad... for a kid to be a beggar..."

"And what's with the carapace on her back...? Is it because she can't afford a coat for the winter...?"

The young girl looked back and forth at the two gatekeepers as they whispered amongst themselves. "Ossans... if you are wondering about the dish on my head and my shell, they're just things from the place I grew up in, you culture-deprived old men..."

"Wha-at?" the second gatekeeper choked on his spit when he heard the little girl's last words. "Hey, who taught you to talk like that? You manner-deprived kid... Now I'm never gonna let you into the village, brat!"

"Don't be like that!" the kinder one of the gatekeepers patted his friend on the back. "Take into consideration that she probably grew up in the slums..."

"No, I did not!" The girl put her hands on her hips as she said proudly, "I grew up in paradise! The Sand Village would definitely be jealous!"

"What do we do with this kid? She won't leave..."

The two gatekeepers ignored the little girl completely and discussed how to kick out the girl as humanely as possible.

"I'm not leaving!" The girl declared, "I am Saga Kawako and my birthplace is Konoha! I've returned to my hometown to become a kunoichi and protect the village like my parents did!"  
The two gatekeepers looked at the girl named Saga Kawako and then at each other.

"Saga...? That name sounds a little familiar..."

"Should we report to the hokage about this?"

"Oooooiiii! Kuma, Yasu, is my eye deceiving me or are you two lazing off during your job?"

A groggy voice came from the other side of the gate behind the two gatekeepers. The gatekeepers Kuma Seiichi and Yasu Takafumi turned around to see a familiar man with silver hair, whose face was mostly covered by a black mask and one of his eyes by his forehead protector. Kawako poked her head in between Kuma and Yasu to see the newcomer.

"Kakashi-senpai!" Kuma, the kinder one, cried out in joy. "I'm so glad you came! You have to help us!"

"You're such a hypocrite, Kakashi-senpai. Aren't you supposed to be training your students?" Yasu grunted as he crossed his arms.

"Yeah, yeah, well, the munchkins had a tough mission a couple of days ago, so I'm letting them rest," the silver-haired ninja named Kakashi said while scratching the back of his head.

"Che... I bet you're just too lazy..."

"So who's giving you guys trouble?" Kakashi cut Yasu's sentence short as he peeked over their shoulders to see Kawako standing there quietly. "Hm? A little girl? Man, you guys need to pick on someone your own size..."

"We're not picking on her, Kakashi-senpai!" Kuma said helplessly. "This girl wants to come into Konoha, but she has no identification. She said that her name is Saga and her family's from Konoha."

"Saga? Sounds familiar, but no face comes to mind," Kakashi said and bent down to look at the girl more closely. Aside from the strange things she carried, she seemed no harm, although it is quite possible for skilled ninjas to change appearances and hide their chakra. But it would seem logical to shift your appearance to a more generic form than such a small child. "How old are you? And what's your name?"

"Saga Kawako. I am turning thirteen this year," said Kawako. "Hey, gramps, why are you wearing a mask?"

"G-gramps?" Kakashi's face stiffened under his mask to his new title and the indiscreet snickers from Kuma and Yasu. "Kawako-chan... I'm only twenty-six..."

"Why are you wearing a mask if you're only twenty-six?"

"What does my age have to do with my mask...?" Kakashi muttered audibly. One thing so far that really proves that she's a kid is how annoying she is. "I just got into a habit of wearing it. No special reason. Now, back to business. Kawako-chan, we cannot let you in unless you have some proof of identity. Where are you from and where are your parents?"

"I'm from a place where humans can't step in and my parents are dead."

Kakashi put a hand on his throbbing temple. And he thought his team 7 was hard to handle. "Sorry for your loss. But do you have any useful information that we can put on record?"

Kawako puckered her lips as she thought for a moment, and then reached her hand into a crack in the shell on her back, and pulled out a forehead protector. The three jounins studied the forehead protector closely; it looked normal with a few scratches and stains on the blue cloth.

"My dad's forehead protector," said Kawako. "Dangame said that my dad died during Kyuubi's attack on Konoha. My mom had Dangame take care of me so she could stay and fight, but she's probably dead too."

Kakashi listened speechlessly at the ease of Kawako's tone at telling her parents' death, although it sounded like she had never really met her parents. "Many great ninjas died to protect Konoha during that time. Again, sorry for your loss. Who's Dangame? Is he your guardian?"

"Dangame's dead too. Just last month. He was getting real old."

Kakashi let out an exasperated sigh. "All right. Kuma, Yasu, I'll take this girl to Hokage and see if he can do anything. Kawako-chan, you're coming with me straight to the Hokage's office. That doesn't mean you can stay in Konoha for sure though."

"Great! Thank you, mister!" A big smile bloomed on Kawako's face, and it relieved Kakashi as a small sign of normality in the kid. But when she ran toward him and grabbed his hand, the strong smell of fish that emitted from her almost made him gag and terminally regret his stroll around the village today.

* * *

Nothing ever made Kakashi walk faster than he did today. The weird looks that he was receiving from some of the villagers was making him too uncomfortable. Even if they were staring mostly at the kid with the dish on her head, the fact that he had to walk with her made him uneasy. However, having told the gatekeepers that he will take her to the Hokage, he had no choice but to hurry and get it over with. He just hoped that no acquaintances would run into him.

Luckily, he got to the Hokage's office without any interference.

"Kakashi, what in the world..." the Third Hokage raised an eyebrow at the weird-looking child that Kakashi brought to his office.

"Uh... this girl claims that her parents were from Konoha and she wants to return to her hometown. Her name is Saga Kawako. Does that ring a bell?"

"Saga?" A look of surprise splattered across the Sandaime's face. He looked at Kawako with widened eyes. "You are from the Saga Clan? I thought that all of your clan's people have deceased during the Kyuubi attack. You must be Mizuno's child... I can see the resemblance now. I thought you died from the fire too..."

"So she was telling the truth?"

"Old man, how do you know about my family?"

"Oi! Be respectful! He's the Hokage!" Kakashi whispered to the young girl, remembering a certain blonde kid in his team who is just as rude.

"Bahahaha! You're right, I am old, therefore I had all the time to get to know a lot of my village's people," Sandaime said, "your clan was a small but special clan. Not a lot people knew about you guys since you lived on the very edge of Konoha by the river. Long time ago there were watersprite sages roaming around there, but people were scared of them and wanted to kick them out of Konoha. Those watersprites were not on good terms with humans, but the Saga Clan befriended them and built their home next to the river so that the watersprites could live in river and forest around them in peace."

"Wait... by watersprites, you mean... kappa?" Kakashi raised his hands with a question.

"You're right."

"I thought those were legends..."

"Toad sages are legends, too, but someone eventually discovers them," said Sandaime. "But this is going to be a problem... your house has burned down during the Kyuubi attack and there is no place for you to live..."

"I want to be a ninja!" Kawako exclaimed. "Dangame said there is a school where I have to attend, but he has already taught me a lot of ninjutsu!"

"Dangame, eh?" a nostalgic smile appeared on Sandaime's face. "How is he?"

"He died from old age. He was about as old as you, so I guess it's your turn soon."

"Oi, oi..." Kakashi felt exhausted from the girl's lack of manners.

"...Well, uh... the rules are you have to attend ninja academy and pass the graduation exam to become a genin. That's the first step of becoming a ninja."

Kawako frowned. "Why is this village all about rules, rules, rules? I heard that kids from five years old start going to ninja academy. I'm turning thirteen soon!"

"If you want to become a shinobi, you're going to the academy!" Sandaime put down his smile and said sternly. "I would like to welcome you home, Kawako, but if you want to live in Konoha, you have to abide to Konoha's rules. You have been away from Konoha for too long; I cannot let you have privileges one after another just because I knew your parents and the sage kappas."

Kawako puffed up her cheeks.

Seeing that she wasn't going to retort this time, Sandaime continued, "Now, back to the problem of housing. We need to find you a place to live..."

"That is not a problem, Sandaime!"

The door to the Hokage's office suddenly swung open and a deep, powerful voice followed. The three occupants in the office turned around in surprise. Kawako's eyes instantly lit up at the sight of the man standing in the doorway. He was dressed in all green, and his hair was black and slick. It reminded her of all the kappas she grew up with. And what struck her immediately after that was his bright smile and his pearly white teeth that seemed to sparkle.

"Guy?" Sandaime raised an eyebrow. "What are you doing here?"

"I thought I felt somebody following us..." Kakashi murmured.

"Mister!" Kawako ran up to the man named Guy and grabbed his hands. "My name is Saga Kawako and your sense of fashion has struck me with awe! Please allow me to be your disciple!"

"Oi, oi..." Kakashi was too tired to say anything else for the day.

"Ahahaha! Why, Kawako-chan, I'm fond of your sense of fashion as well!" Guy laughed heartily and patted Kawako's shoulders. "But if you want to be my disciple, you'd have to graduate ninja academy first. Don't worry, a spot under my wing will always be reserved for you!"

Then, he turned to Sandaime. "Hokage-sama, when I followed Kakashi here, I saw a lot of potential in this child! (Kakashi: "It's probably just the shell on her back...") Don't worry about her housing. She can live at my place!"

"That's generous of you, Guy, but... that kind of conduct might not be good for your reputation," said Sandaime, "You know, living under the same roof with an underage girl..."

"Don't worry! Lee is always sleeping over at my place too!"

Sandaime wiped away a drop of sweat. "I don't know if that makes anything better, but... it seems like the most convenient thing to do now, before we find her a better place to live..."

"Really?" Kawako smiled hopefully. "You'll take me in even when I'm completely penniless and have nothing to offer?"

"Of course! That is what youth is all about-helping people in need!" Guy put a hand on Kawako's shoulder and guided her out the door.

"You are the most awesome person I've ever met!" Kawako said happily as she followed Guy with springs in her steps. "Who is this Lee guy?"

"He's one of my students. He's a great kid too! About the same age as you..."

"I'm sure he's great if you think he's great..."

"Ahahaha! My eyes didn't deceive me! You're gonna be a great ninja..."

"You think so?"

"Of course!"

"..."

"..."

Guy and Kawako's voices faded into the hallway. Both Sandaime and Kakashi stared at the unclosed door silently, and looked back at each other. They didn't say anything to each other, but they were thinking the same thing. This was probably going to be a bad idea, but there probably wouldn't be anyone willing to take in Kawako besides Guy.

And after everything that's happened in the past years, Konoha is still in need of more shinobis to protect the village.

* * *

"And that road would take you to Neji's house. He's another student of mine. He's not as cute as Lee, but he's a good kid too..." Guy blabbed on as he took Kawako on a brief tour of Konoha, although it was just showing her the restaurants, the school, and where his other students lived. "And that road... eh? Kawako-chan?"

It didn't take long for Guy to notice that Kawako wasn't next to him anymore.

Out of instinct, Guy swerved his head toward the lake that they had just passed. First, he saw the Uchiha boy from Kakashi's team sitting alone by the lake. And then, he saw Kawako slowly approaching the boy from behind. Even though he didn't know exactly what Kawako was planning to do, but somehow he had an idea. Having heard about that Uchiha boy's temper from Kakashi, Guy felt the need to stop her.

"Kawako-chan! Don-"

Before Guy could finish his sentence, Kawako had already went behind the black-haired boy. And just as the boy was about to turn around, Kawako pushed him into the lake.

Guy's jaw dropped, and for a second, he did not know how to react.

And after a few bubbles, the Uchiha boy came back up to the surface, revealing a completely pissed off face.

"WHO THE HELL DID THAT?!"

* * *

TBC  
**  
**


	2. Human Children are Annoying

A/N: Hey all! I thought I'd warn you that our lovely boy Shikamaru actually won't make his appearance until a few chapters later. Please be patient!

**Shika to Kappa**

**Chapter 02**

**Human Children are Annoying**

"WHO THE HELL DID THAT?!"

The few people walking on the street stopped and looked toward the lake when they heard the angry boy's voice. The young boy from the Uchiha Clan was drenched with lake water and a girl who they've never seen around the village stood before him. A few feet away, Guy started making his way toward the two children.

"Who the hell are you and why did you push me into the water?" Pissed-off Sasuke glared at the young girl dangerously. Sasuke never made an exception to be gentle with girls.

"I'm Saga Kawako," Kawako responded honestly. "Sorry, but when I see people next to water, I have this urge to push them down."

"Ha?!" Kawako's answer infuriated Sasuke more. "Are you stupid?"

"No," said Kawako, "It's kappas' way of playing pranks on humans, but it's an act of friendliness. Don't you learn that in school?"

"...You are stupid. I should've figured that out when I saw your stupid dish and shell," Sasuke looked at the girl in disgust. "I don't know what you learn in school, but they certainly didn't teach you any manners!"

"I know manners. I said sorry."

"That was not sincere, you moron!" Sasuke shouted, but regained his composure quickly. "Nevermind... Get out of my sight before I hurt you!"

"Now, that's what I'd call mannerless," said Kawako as she shook her head in disapproval while looking at Sasuke's appearance. "You can try to hurt me, but you can't, you skinny little brat."

"What?" Sasuke's eyes sharpened at Kawako's words, and he tightened his fists. His pride cannot be easily touched. "Would you like to try me?"

The corner of Kawako's lips curled up innocently. "You won't do well next to a lake..."

"Okay, okay, quarreling is a beautiful part of youth, but let's not do it today, Kawako-chan!" Guy put a hand Kawako's shoulder and pulled her away from Sasuke slightly. You couldn't underestimate Uchiha Sasuke. Besides, he's going to be Lee's rival one day. "How about you fight him after you get your ninja qualification? Then you guys can fight as equals."  
Not even a genin? Sasuke was slightly surprised, because the girl looked about the same age as him. "You have some guts to challenge me when you're not even a genin yet."

"Whatever you are, you're still a skinny little brat," said Kawako as she stepped away. "I can eliminate you with my thumb."

"You...!" That was the last straw for Sasuke. "Come to this place tomorrow at noon! I'll make sure that you can't even go to ninja academy anymore!"

Kawako turned around and left with Guy. But before getting out of Sasuke's sight, the girl raised her arm and stuck out her middle finger. Uchiha Sasuke, from the time he joined team 7, has never met another person equally infuriating as Naruto.

* * *

Even if Kawako was sort of a troublemaker, Guy was exceptionally happy that the young girl was able to stand up to the Uchiha boy fearlessly. He had a feeling that she would get along well with the three kids in his team, who are all very head-strong people. As he had expected, Kawako instantly became friends with Lee when they met each other. Kawako said that she feels right at home when she is with them; Guy and Lee cried seaweed tears from her sweet words. After living with her for one day, Guy was pleased that Kawako could eat as much as Lee and could wash the dishes very well. She looked enviously at Lee when Guy was giving him special training, but Guy refused to teach her until she graduates from ninja academy. Kawako agreed to his terms without much protest. She was a very good girl.

However, the same could not be said about her when she attended ninja academy for the first time.

"SAGA KAWAKO!"

Kawako turned around and looked upwards when the light above her was covered by a man, who literally had to push her name out from his gritted teeth.

Umino Iruka was a kind man to say the least. Even with a scar across his nose, all the children in ninja academy still liked him because he treated them all very nicely. However, Iruka was also a firm believer in morals, and if there was one thing that he cannot allow to happen in school, it was bullying.

"Iruka-sensei? What are you doing here? You do know that it's the girl's restroom."

"I wouldn't be here if the other girls didn't tell me about what you did, and I'm glad they told me!" Iruka said, pointing at three little girls standing by the door. One of them had wet hair and her clothes were soaked from the top. "What made you think that it was okay to push Saya's head into the toilet?"

Iruka was usually a very soft-spoken individual, but he could be authoritative when he needed to be.

Kawako glanced at the girl named Saya briefly and looked at Iruka. "It was just a friendly joke."

"That is not considered friendly! You hurt Saya's feelings!" said Iruka. "It's your first day and you've already bullied a bunch of kids. Now, when we get back to class, I want you to apologize to all of them. Okay?"

"Don't talk to me like I'm one of them five-year-olds."

You sure act like one, Iruka thought. "You're right, Kawako-chan, you are much older than them, so instead of bullying them, shouldn't you be protecting them? You are all children of Konoha, so let's be friends and not enemies!"

Kawako puffed up her cheeks. "If I apologize, can I graduate early?"

"No... you can't..."

"Tch..."

As the school bell rang, Iruka finally convinced Kawako to apologize to her classmates. Iruka made Kawako stand in front of everyone, and had all the kids that she had bullied come forward. Iruka could tell from the two big puff of air in Kawako's cheeks that she did not want to apologize.

"I'm sorry."

Surprised but pleased by Kawako's direct apology, Iruka nodded with a smile. "All right! See? That wasn't hard! Now, let's all be friends!"

The five kids that stood before Kawako looked back and forth at each other, and then they looked back at Iruka. "Iruka-sensei, we don't want to be friends with her."

"Eh?" Iruka's mind blanked out at his students blunt response.

"We can't forgive her for picking on us."

"She's twelve and we're only five! That's unforgivable."

"Our moms wouldn't be happy about our ruined clothes."

"And she smells like fish..."

Iruka looked at the kids speechlessly. "You guys..."

Kawako lowered her head to look at the little kids who rejected her apology. Narrowing her eyes, Kawako walked past the kids and went back to her seat without another word. Iruka looked at the girl with worry.

"Kawako-chan..."

"It's okay, Iruka-sensei," said Kawako, "they're all just jealous of us water species."

* * *

"Oooooiii! Kawako-chan, over here!"

School was over and all the kids were running out of the school and toward their parents who picked them up. Kawako was walking out casually, looking around at all the parents, until a loud voice called for her from the school gate. She looked toward the gate and her mood was lifted the moment she saw Guy and Lee with two youngsters standing there. Lee waved at Kawako energetically while Guy gave Kawako a thumbs up for getting through her first day of school. The other kids from school looked over curiously at the group of people greeting Kawako.

"Guy-sensei, next time can you please not abuse training time and make us do meaningless things like this?" A boy that Kawako had not met before said to Guy with mild annoyance in his voice.

"Come on, Neji, we train plenty!" said Guy. "What is youth without the warm love of family?"

"Please don't count me in this family of yours..."

"You're right, Lee, she is like a kappa," said the girl next to Lee, who had two buns of hair on each side of her head.

"Right? She really has water in that dish too! She showed me last night!" Lee said with some unknown pride. "Kawako-chan, this is Ten Ten and that one over there is Neji. Together, we make Team Guy!"

Kawako bowed to each one of them, but after bowing to Neji, she continued to stared at him.

"Are you blind?"

"..." The expression on Neji's face did not change, but his teammates could tell that that was not a good question to ask. "No. It's Byakugan..."

"Oh! Bloodline Limit of Hyuuga Clan! Dangame told me about it!" Kawako clapped her hands together in realization. "Phew! Good thing! I thought maybe you had an eye disease and it might be contagious if I looked at them for too long!"

"Pffu!" Ten Ten had to hold in a giggle.

"Guy-sensei, if we're not going to train anymore today, I'd like to leave..." said Neji, his stiff face even stiffer than usual.

"Don't be like that~ It was just a friendly joke!"

"I don't like jokes," said Neji as he turned around and began to walk away.

Kawako turned back to the remaining three and pointed at Neji's leaving back. "Does he always have a stick up his ass?"

"It's okay, Kawako-chan, Neji's just a serious person," Ten Ten said, patting the side of Kawako's head since the dish was still on top of her head. "You're very funny, but you're gonna have to be much more polite to be friends with him!"  
Kawako made a 'tsk tsk' sound as she shook her head. "Human children are so annoying..."

Aren't you human too? Ten Ten decided not to say anything to respond to Kawako.

"All right, Kawako-chan! Let's have a big dinner tonight to celebrate your first day at school! What do you want to eat? It will be my treat! Hahahaha!" Guy gathered his students and laughed with his chest pumped.

"Really?" Ten Ten widened her eyes in surprise. "Guy-sensei, you rarely treat us out before."

"Guy-sensei! You are too cool!" Lee's eyes sparkled with stars.

"Bahahaha!"

"Dinner can wait. I still have to meet that stuck-up little boy from yesterday by the river." said Kawako, and after a short pause, she pulled on the corner of Guy's vest. "And before anything else, I would like to take a bath."

* * *

The sun was setting slowly and its rays gave the river a reddish glow. Sasuke stood by the river with his hands in his pockets, one foot tapping the ground. Sasuke wasn't the kind person who would get scared of a fight. In fact, he was eager. Even when his team first met Kakashi, he was the one who attacked with every concentration. However, this time Sasuke was getting impatient. One being that Kawako was currently thirty minutes late. Second being that his two idiotic teammates were hiding in the bushes behind him very obviously.

"Hey, Sakuraaaa-... let's just go on a date!"

"Shh! Shut up, Naruto, and lower your voice! I wanna know what Sasuke's doing!"

"Why? He's so boring! Look, he's just standing there!"

"I said SHUT UP!"

Sasuke rolled his eyes in his mind; it was just his luck to be put in a team with the class's dead-last and the stupid pink-haired clutz. It doesn't help that the person he's waiting for might be equally stupid as those two. Just as he thought about leaving for the sake of his sanity, Saga Kawako appeared from the distance.

"Yo!" She greeted as the ran toward him. Her skin seemed a lot cleaner and her rags had gone through laundry. Although she still had the dish and shell equipped, at least she didn't look like a mudball anymore.

"Don't 'yo' me." Kawako's decent appearance did not impress Sasuke. "You're late. That's the same as disrespect for your opponent."

"If it's respect, then I definitely have none for you."  
"...I'm going to kill you..."

"A GIRL?!"

"A KAPPA?!"

Kawako looked past Sasuke at the two teens that jumped out of the bush. Both had an unbelieving expression on their faces, but the girl more angry and the boy more excited. Sasuke sighed; too bad the forehead protector didn't help against headaches.

"WHO THE HELL ARE YOU AND WHAT IS YOUR RELATIONSHIP WITH SASUKE-KUN?" the girl darted toward Kawako with godspeed and grabbed her by the collars.

"Who's Sasuke?" Kawako blinked innocently.

"DON'T ACT DUMB!" the pink-haired girl yelled.

"She is dumb..." Sasuke murmured.

"Hey, hey! Are you a kappa? Can I open the lid to your dish?" Naruto also ran up to Kawako and bombarded her with questions.

Kawako, still held by the collar, turned to Naruto, "I was born a human and now I'm a kappa. You can only touch my dish if you promise not to spill it."

"I won't spill it! I just wanna see if you really have water in it!" Naruto urged with excitement.

"SHUT UP, NARUTO! AND YOU, DON'T IGNORE ME!"

Kawako sighed. "Human children are so noisy..."

Kawako grabbed Sakura's hands and yanked it away from her rags, and then pushed her toward where Naruto stood. "One at a time, okay? I have to settle my business with Mr. Scrawny here first..."

Sasuke stepped forward. "Uchiha Sasuke. Remember that."

"I don't care what your name is," said Kawako as she got into fighting stance. "and I'm going to give you mine either!"

"You told me your name yesterday..."

"..."

Suddenly, Kawako jumped toward Sasuke. It took him a little bit by surprise, but he saw her fist coming toward his cheek, and did a flip to dodge it. Kawako landed on all fours, and jumped at Sasuke again. This time, instead of dodging, Sasuke blocked the attack and threw her far away.

"What? They're fighting?" Sakura was shocked when Kawako suddenly attacked Sasuke.  
"What's going on?!" Naruto exclaimed.

Kawako tumbled once on the floor and with the flow she went toward Sasuke again, this time throwing some shuriken. Sasuke dodged to the side and darted toward Kawako. Going in for a kick, Sasuke was surprised that Kawako didn't attempt to dodge. In a split second, Kawako received Sasuke's kick in the stomach, but also threw out a punch at his face.

"You fight like a ruffian!" Sasuke barked, but his cheek stung from the punch.

Kawako coughed while holding her stomach. "Wow, you can kick hard even though you're so skinny..." she stood up straight slowly. "Okay, you want me to fight like a ninja? I'll fight like a ninja..."

With that, Kawako ran and jumped into the river. Sasuke waited for Kawako's attack, but after five then ten then fifteen minutes, Kawako still hasn't surfaced.

"Did...did she die?" asked Naruto.

"That'd be dumb..." Sasuke said, but fifteen minute is way too long. Out of instinct, he walked closer to the river.

"Suiton-Mizudeppou no Jutsu! (Water Release-Water gun Technique)" Kawako splashed out from the river suddenly, and her hands were making a seal. Her cheeks puffed up, and then she spat out a string of water.

"Ugh! What the..." Sasuke was taken by surprise, but he did not feel attack even though he was hit. The only thing he felt was wetness on his...

"BAHAHAHA! Sasuke! You have those days too!" Naruto laughed holding his stomach.

"That...that girl! How dare she humiliate Sasuke-kun like that?" Sakura's face was red with anger.

Kawako grinned at her work. The middle of Sasuke's pants were wet from her justu. It's just a big enough splash to make it look like he pissed his pants.

"You... are you trying to make fun of me?" Sasuke said with a shaky voice. He was about to lose it.

"Well yes," she said, floating in the river, "I like pranks. All of us kappas love pranks. And nothing can stop us once we're in water!"

"You little..."

"You lose! Hahaha!" Kawako laughed as she came out of the water. "You're the little one!"

"...It's not over..."

"Eh?" Kawako widened her eyes. Sasuke was not in front of her anymore, but his voice was heard from behind her. She could barely turn around to see his completely serious face before stumbling forward. But before she could get far, Sasuke had gotten down and swiped his foot and tripped Kawako.

Kawako hissed at the pain from falling on her face and tried to ignore the wet feeling coming out of her nostil. When she tried to get back up, a force on her back kept her down. Sasuke had his foot on her turtle-like shell, and in his hand was a kunai. He held the kunai next to her face.

"Who's the loser now?"

"Still you!" Kawako exclaimed. "I got out of the water because I thought game's over! Or else you could never get me!"

"I never said that game's over! And it's not a game!"

"You should be thankful that I'm playing with you, you stuck-up little kid!"

"I said it's not a game!"

On the sidelines, Sakura and Naruto looked at each other.

"Sasuke is not very calm today..." Naruto commented.

"You're right... but I do get this unexplainable annoyance every time I look at that girl's shell and the dish on her head..." Sakura nodded. "Oh, and her nose-bleeding face is annoying too..."

"Yeah, I kinda have the urge to to stump on her shell too..." Naruto added.

"By the way, did you notice this fish smell ever since she got here?"

Meanwhile, hidden within the leaves on a tree not far away, two jounins watched the fight between Sasuke and Kawako from beginning to end.

"Are you going to go help your student? They're stepping on her like those bullies in Urashima Tarou..." Kakashi said.

"No! Being able to take a good beating is also a good practice!" Guy said smiling.

A sweatdrop on Kakashi's forehead. "I don't know if you are a good teacher or bad teacher..."

"Besides, isn't she great? To have such a good manipulation of her chakra at that age, without any help from ninja schooling, is excellent!"

"I'll agree with you on that," said Kakashi as he looked back toward the young girl being stepped on. "No matter what happens, the dish on her head does not fall down. She's using her chakra to make it stay put. That's a good way to practice with chakra... I'm beginning to think that sage kappas are geniuses..."

"Alas, a child's chakra cannot compare with an adults," said Guy, seeing that the dish on Kawako's head suddenly fell on the ground. The lid parted from the dish and the water inside flowed out. With that, Kawako stopped moving completely. The kids stopped stepping on her at that.

"Eh? What happened to her?" Sakura asked.

"They say that kappas becomes unable to move when the water in their dish spills out completely," said Naruto nervously.

"Idiot, she's a human..." said Sasuke.

"WHO ARE YOU CALLING AN IDIOT?"

"Anyhow, let's flip her over!" Sakura grabbed onto the girl's shoulders and flipped her over. Kawako's pupils were rolled upwards and the blood from her nose dripped all the way down to her chin. Her face was almost too horrible to look at.

"YAAAHHHH!" Sakura screamed. "IS SHE DEAD?!"

"Idiot! How can she die from that?" Sasuke covered his ears from Sakura's loud voice.

"I'm telling you! That dish is her life!" Naruto exclaimed.

"HELP!" Sakura continued screaming. "HELP! SOMEBODY HELP!"

"Kakashi, your students need help."

Kakashi sighed. Just a day ago, meeting Kawako made him feel pretty good about the kids in his own team. But now, he began to question that as well.

* * *

TBC


	3. Call Me a Genius

**Shika to Kappa**

**Chapter 03**

**Call Me a Genius**

"It's not like that! You gotta keep both arms steady!"

It was a breezy afternoon when Kawako and Ten Ten trained together. Ten Ten had set up a target on a large tree; she was asked to tutor Kawako in throwing shuriken. Although Kawako was surprisingly good at water element jutsu, she was terrible at taijutsu and any kind of weapon-handling. For Ten Ten, weapon-handling came almost as if it was natural from birth, so it was hard to teach Kawako, who seemed to not even know the basics.

"Gu…" Kawako threw a shuriken with an awkward posture. When the shuriken left her hand, not only did it not hit the target, Kawako also tripped herself somehow.

"That's strange… I don't know what the problem is…" Ten Ten folded her arms, making a frowning expression.

"Isn't it obvious? She cannot even balance," said Neji, who had been watching with sharp eyes "She's not properly trained; she started learning ninjutsu before knowing the basics. Just leave the rest to the ninja academy; don't waste your time, Ten Ten."

"Hey! I'm not weak!" Kawako pouted. "I can balance too! I'm just not as good at it when I'm standing. It doesn't feel the same as when I'm in water!"

Lee came over and patted Kawako on the shoulder, giving her a cheerful smile. "You're not weak, Kawako-chan! You fought pretty well against me last time! You jumped around like a frog!"

The four teens fell into silence. Neji looked at Lee and Kawako and shook his head without saying anything, and then he walked away to practice his own ninjutsu. Ten Ten, who was running out of gas, looked into the distance where their teacher Guy was. He was talking with Iruka-sensei, who had a very troubled look on his face. Thankfully, they seemed to be finished with their conversation, and Guy was coming back to his team.

"Sensei, what were you talking about with Iruka-sensei?" asked Ten Ten.

Guy grinned with a proud look on his face. He walked over to Kawako and slapped his palms onto the girl's shoulders. "Congratulations, Kawako-chan! Iruka-sensei is giving you a chance to graduate early!"

"WHAT?!" Lee and Ten Ten exclaimed.

"Are you serious?!" Kawako also perked up at this message. "So that scar-face finally came to his senses?!"

"Kawako-chan, manners, manners!" Ten Ten whispered.

"Yes! Yes! You will just have to perform three different tests that your judges are going to give you! This has already been approved by Sandaime-sama, so you don't even have to stop by the academy anymore! Just go to the academy this Saturday for your test!"

Kawako beamed. "Hurray! I'm finally going to be a ninja!"

Lee and Ten Ten congratulated Kawako. However, it was still mind-boggling to Ten Ten why Kawako was giving this special chance. "I wonder why this happened. I know that there were geniuses who skipped grades, but never all the way to graduation…"

"Maybe I'm a genius!" Kawako laughed.

"Actually, Iruka-sensei came and told me that the school was getting too many complaints from the parents about Kawako-chan's misbehaviors, so the school wanted to get rid of Kawako-chan as quickly as possible," said Guy, "Ah, how beautiful is youth! Being an outcast in school, but never stops working hard toward your dream of becoming a ninja—Kawako-chan, you are such a great kid!"

Watching Guy burst into tears, two streams of tears also came flowing down Kawako's eyes. "That's because you're such a cool teacher, Guy-sensei!"

"Kawako-chan!"

"This is…so…touching…!" Lee sobbed as he watched his admirable teacher's strong tears fall.

* * *

"Ugh… it's my day-off, so why do I have to come to the school and do something like this…?" Kakashi mumbled.

In the empty quad outside of Konoha's ninja academy stood three jounins—Hatake Kakshi, Sarutobi Asuma, and Yuuhi Kurenai. They were asked by the school to give our special little main character, Kawako, a promotional test so that she could graduate early. It was really just an intention to get rid of the trouble-loving bully of the school, but they also needed a proper excuse.

"Sorry, Kakashi-san, we had to find jounins who wouldn't be biased in this test. We would have asked Guy-san, but since he took Kawako in as his pupil, he might have a little bit of bias…" Iruka explained apologetically.

"It's all right, Iruka-sensei," said Kurenai kindly, and patted Kakashi lightly on the shoulder. "It shouldn't take too long; I heard from Guy that she's superb!"

"I would like to take advantage of this day-off, too…" Asuma said, "Although I _am_ a little interested. I've been hearing a lot about her from Guy…"

Speaking of the devil, Saga Kawako walked in to the school, followed by Naruto and Chouji.

"Naruto? What are you doing here?" Kakashi asked, thinking that more troublesome people had come to ruin his day-off.

"Chouji? I thought you were going to Shikamaru's house today," said Asuma when he saw his student appear at the school.

"I was _*crunch*_ but I got bored _*crunch* _because Shikamaru was playing shogi _*crunch* _with his dad…" The boy named Chouji said through a mouthful of potato chips, meanwhile stuffing in more. "He didn't even notice when I left _*crunch*_ and then, I saw Naruto eating at Ichiraku _*crunch* _so I joined him _*crunch*_ and then, this weird-looking kappa girl appeared and Naruto seemed to know her _*crunch*_ so we both followed her here…"

_I'm envious of these kids and their carefree lives…_ thought the three jounins.

"Kakashi-sensei! Iruka-sensei! How come you didn't tell me that something this fun is gonna happen?!" Naruto said with excitement.

"This is a _test_, Naruto," Iruka said, "It's okay if you guys wanted to watch, but don't distract her."

"Don't worry, Iruka-sensei! She won't get nervous or anything; we just became good friends on our way here!" Naruto grinned in reassurance and turned to Kawako. "Right, Kappa-chan?"

"Yeah _*crunch* _kappas are funny creatures!" Chouji mumbled.

Iruka put his hand over his face.

"My name is Kawako, not Kappa-chan," Kawako corrected, glancing at Naruto from the corner of her eyes. "But thank you for the compliment."

"All right, Kawako-chan… let's get this started…" Iruka said tiredly.

"OKAY!" Kawako spun around to face her judges. She looked at all three of the jounin with some sort of admiration. She gave them her best confident smile and said, "Come at me! I'm ready for anything you want to test me with!"

Kurenai was the first to laugh. The girl's appearance didn't look any younger than her three students; however, the naivety that emits from the girl gave Kurenai an impression that she was all in all a good girl. Also, her enthusiasm reminded Kurenai of her student Kiba.

"Okay, Kawako-chan, I'm never given this kind of exam before, but I will give you the test that _I_ had to take when I graduated from the academy," said Kurenai, "Henge no Jutsu! Transform your appearance into me, and you'll pass my part of the test!"

It was a fairly easy test. After all, this test was meant for a child to advance to a genin, so Kurenai didn't want to make it impossible. She also heard from Guy that Kawako wasn't very great at techniques that are not water-element based. Normally, techniques of any element would've been learned after the basics that you learn at ninja academy. It's strange that Kawako had it the other way around, but basics are basics and all genins need it as fundamentals for their future training.

"Mu…" Kawako first looked troubled by the task, but raised her hands to form the seal for the technique. "…Henge no Jutsu!"

Kawako performed the seal slowly but correctly. A puff of smoke covered Kawako from bottom up, and as the smoke faded, Kawako's appearance had completely changed.

"Puwah-! COUGH, COUGH, COUGH-!" Asuma choked on his cigarette.

"Her attachment toward kappas is really amazing…" Kakashi muttered.

Kurenai put a hand over her face. Although Kawako had successfully transformed into Kurenai, she did not bother to transform her attire at all. Kurenai's adult body stretched Kawako's dirty rags to its limit, and the dish and turtle shell remained at their usual places. Stifled laughter could be heard from where Naruto and Chouji stood; Kawako turned toward the two boys and gave them a thumbs-up with a grin much like Guy and Lee.

"Okay, okay, that's enough…" said Kurenai, covering her flushed face and frown with her palm, "You pass, now turn back to yourself; I don't wanna see myself in that form again…"

With another puff, Kawako was back to her normal self.

"Ahem…" Asuma cleared his throat, his face a little flushed as well for some unknown reason. "All right, um… I don't really know what to test you with, but how about you just show me your best technique?"

Kawako's eyes lit up. "Oh, of course! You want to see my super powerful Water Element techniques?"

"Yes, yes, go on…" for a moment, Asuma realized the reason why Guy volunteered to take this girl as his pupil.

"Okay, prepare to be amazed!"

Kawako began to make seals with her hands. At first, the three jounins were a little bit speechless at how slowly the girl was at hand-seals. However, after a few seconds, they began to widen their eyes in astonishment; especially Kakashi, who recognized the hand-seal combination. Forty-four hand-seals are required to perform Suiryuudan no Jutsu (Water Dragon Bullet Technique), a highly difficult water elemental technique that only skilled ninjas could perform. Kakashi remembered facing that attack from Momochi Zabuza on a mission from not too long ago. If it weren't for his Sharingan, it would have been really difficult technique to learn. Could a mere twelve-year-old really perform it?

After almost a minute, Kawako finally finished making the seals. Kakashi mentally noted that although she was slow, she made no mistakes with all of the forty-four seals. But he realized one major problem: there is no body of water around the school.

"SUITON! SUIRYUUDAN NO JUTSU!" Kawako shouted out from the top of her lungs.

The three jounins held their breaths unconsciously while waiting for something to happen. However, for a long while, no dragon or even water came into sight. When Kakashi was just about to call her out on it, the lid of the dish on her head trembled. He leaned down closer at the dish, and finally, something pushed the lid open.

A small water drago—no, more like a big water earthworm, pushed with all its might to get the lid off of its head.

Kakashi felt weak in the knees. "Well… the lack of water is a problem. Technically, you have not made any mistakes on the technique itself… but next time, please observe your surroundings…"

Kawako slammed the lid back down on the dish. "It's not my fault that Konoha has a freaking drought."

"Don't say that… you'll piss off Sand Ninjas…" Asuma coughed. "Well, since it's a pretty difficult technique, I guess you pass…"

"Woohoo!" Kawako threw her hands in the air. "Two down, one more to go!"

"Don't celebrate just yet," Kakashi stepped forward. "It's my turn to test you now. I'm going to ask you one question, and if I don't like your answer, I won't let you become a ninja."

That silenced Kawako immediately. Naruto swallowed hard and listened in on this one as well; considering the bell-stealing test that Kakashi gave his team before, Naruto expected his teacher to come up with something out of the ordinary for Kawako. Asuma and Kurenai also looked at Kakashi expectantly, interested in what kind of question he was going to ask.

"The question I want to ask you is…" Kakashi looked Kawako straight in the eyes seriously. "Why do you want to become a ninja so badly?"

Kawako blinked.

_Very good question,_ Asuma thought to himself. _On the surface, it sounds like a relatively easy question to answer. But depending on her answer, we can see the extent of her resolve and even a little bit of her background. It's quite important to get some information out of someone who had just come into the village without any identification._

"When I became a shinobi, I swore an oath to protect my village. Konoha is my home and its villagers are my family. Protecting the village is the same as protecting ourselves…"

"Hm?" Kakashi did not understand Kawako's utterance.

"Dangame told me that those were my mother's last words," said Kawako, her eyes were clear of any intention of deceiving. "Dangame said that my mother's last wish was for me to reunite with Konoha. I wanted to come and see the village that my parents died to protect. I wanted to know why my parents chose a ninja's duties over raising a child. I thought that by becoming a ninja, I could understand."

Kakashi stared at the girl silently after listening to her answer. Beneath that twelve-year-old appearance, he saw a little child who knew nothing. A child who grew up without any contact with humans, and is eagerly trying to understand her own kind.

"Have you found out anything so far?" Kakashi asked.

"You said you'd only ask one question, gramps."

"Just answer my question! Do you want to graduate early or not?" Kakashi grumbled, a little worried that the 'gramps' nickname was going to stick to him. It didn't help that Naruto and Choji, and even Asuma and Kurenai, had to stifle their laughter.

"Hmm…" Kawako put a hand to her chin as she contemplated the question. "I like Guy-sensei and Lee-kun a lot, and the Sandaime old man…."

"I see," Kakashi's right eye curved into a crescent shape, showing a smile. "Would you risk your life to protect them?"

"You're crossing the line here, gramps."

"_You_ are crossing the line, Saga Kawako…"

"I'll drown the enemies with my super strong amazing water techniques!" Kawako put both hands on her hips and raised her chin up in the air. "Guy-sensei said that dinners taste better when a lot of people are eating together! Guy-sensei, Lee-kun, and I will eat dinner together every night! Of course, Naruto and everyone here, including you gramps, can join too! I don't know about you, Choji, you eat too much…"

"What did you say?!" Choji squinted his eyes into small slits, waiting for Kawako to say the taboo word.

"Haha. Okay, okay," Kakashi chuckled lightly and stepped in between Choji and Kawako. "You pass, Kawako."

Kawako widened her eyes and stars sparkled inside her dark pupils. "REALLY?"

Kakashi nodded.

"Congratulations, Kawako," said Iruka as he approached her with a Konoha forehead protector in his hand. "I didn't have any doubt that you'd pass this test."

The corners of Kawako's mouth stretched from one side of her face to the other. She grabbed the forehead protector from Iruka and tied it around her head right away. Along with the dish on top of her head, Kawako's head was now filled with "accessories." She twirled around and put up a peace sign towards Naruto and Choji. The three jounins let out soft laughs through their noses at the girl's kiddy behavior.

"Was that really an acceptable answer, Kakashi?" Asuma asked in a voice only audible to Kakashi and Kurenai.

"Isn't it fine?" Kakashi shrugged. "She answered honestly. Even though we can't tell if she'll be loyal to Konoha, it's pretty clear that Konoha is the first place that she has been to with humans. It would be good to raise her up in Konoha as the village's shinobi while she is young."

Kurenai nodded in agreement. "Even though her level in basics and taijutsu is below average, Guy-sensei has already volunteered to train her in those areas. For now, her exceptional skill in ninjutsu can make up for that, and who knows how much stronger she will get once she grows older and attains more chakra…"

"…For now…" Kakashi muttered as he looked on toward the young girl.

Naruto was the first to pat her on the back and congratulate her. "Good job, Kappa-chan! I didn't know you were this good!"

Kawako beamed at the compliment. "Of course! I am a genius, after all!"

"Hmph!" Choji stuffed a handful of potato chips inside his mouth, still a little bit annoyed that Kawako almost called him fat. "That's not impressive at all! The real genius is Shikamaru! He even has an IQ of 200; you don't even come close, kappa girl."

"Who's Shikamaru?" Kawako turned to Choji. "Your pet deer?"

"Shikamaru is my best friend!" Choji popped up his chest and smiled proudly as he brings up his best friend's name.

"Hmm…" Kawako cocked her head to the side in thoughts. Then she stepped toward Choji and pulled his sleeve. "Hey, I wanna meet this Shikamaru. Let's find out who's the real genius between us!"

"Oh?" Naruto's eyes lit up. "That sounds interesting!"

"A challenge…?" Choji thought about whether or not Shikamaru would accept a challenge from a girl, or even consider taking a challenge concerning his personality, but Choji shrugged before he came to a conclusion. "Sure, why not! Shikamaru will definitely win, though!"

"All right! Let's go to Shikamaru's house!"

The three youngsters skipped and ran and frolicked away from the Ninja Academy. The three jounins and Iruka shook their heads. They briefly remembered their younger years—the years that they were fearless and their minds were strong. But once you become an official ninja, and once you are thrown into a real battle, pain and suffering will stack up on you.

Kakashi stared at the retrieving backs of Kawako and his very special student Naruto even after Asuma and Kurenai have taken off. Naruto was slowly starting to make more friends. While Kakashi was happy about that fact, there is still an unshakeable anxiety inside him.

"Let's just hope that… she doesn't find out about the Kyuubi inside of Naruto anytime soon…" Kakashi mumbled.

* * *

**To Be Continued**

* * *

A/N: Sorry for the long hiatus! It's taking a while for me to complete the basic storyline of this story. I didn't like the storyline I had before, so I had to change it completely.


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